Sakura's Five Stages Of Loss
by Mave Marie
Summary: He has to be still be there. He hasn't left yet! No Sasuke, No! This is a songfiction, dedicated to the episode where Sasuke leaves, and how she really reacted to his leaving. Also shows his other side, and how much it hurt to leave. Please Read and comment! CX


_**A/N**_

_**I really hate these Authors Notes, they seem tacky and so I don't like making them, but I wanted to make sure I got some points across without squishing it into the summary. And since I'm writing this thingy I may as well go all out by typing half a page.**_

_**Copyright: I do not own Naruto, because if I did Tobi's identity would have been released like 60 episodes ago. I do not own the song Hurt, all rights for the song are held by the band Thousand Foot Krutch.**_

_**Episode: 109 I know this was from forever ago, and to be honest I've had the idea to re-do the parting scene between Sasuke and Sakura for a long time, because she seemed really whiney and he was kinda a dick, and so I wanted to add in some … dialog to make it run easier. I hope I do my imagination justice, for it is hard to get the little movie in my head to work its way through my fingertips. Some issue in the conversion of data, would be my guess. (Supposed to be a joke, please chuckle to yourself now.)**_

_**Song: Hurt by Thousand Foot Krutch I chose this song because it just kinda popped into my head and I wanted a challenge to make it fit to the situation. The words will loosely fit sometimes, and I will change them accordingly. I'd appreciate it if you listened before/during the reading, because it influences the pace of your reading, and in my opinion, helps me as the author. (Like the beat of the song coincides with Sakura's heart) But if you listen to it and decide you don't like it, (damn on you) then please just read without listening. But please, listen.**_

_**I plan on writing/merging with the (damn near) exact script. (I'm writing this before actually writing the fiction.) I might leave a line or two out, because I'm no god, but I'll do the best I can within reason. Also, with repeated lyrics, I might decide to leave 'em out. Just saying. But if you are reading this, then that means I posted the story and I hope you like it!**_

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The pink haired girl slowly made her good-byes and exited the Ramen stand just as the blond ran after her. He had offered to walk her home, but for the time being she wanted to be left to her own devices. _It_ had been bugging her for the duration of the night; _he_ would make a run for it soon. She wasn't quite sure what was going on, but the concept was understood: Sasuke, the boy she loved, would leave. This boy was so amazing in her eyes; everything about him was complex, and yet very straight forward. Everything he said could have a double meaning, and yet it wasn't like he tried to trick anyone with his words. His glance could make her weak-kneed, and his laugh could force a rainbow out of a clouded sky. He never wavered; he stood strong and tall, and in every way he was perfect. He was always cause and reaction; just like dropping a ball. You watch it fall far below; the ball will never defy gravity and rise. With all the sudden occurrences, his reaction would soon be to leave. There was no doubt in her mind.

Just the thought would suck her in; she would hold her breath, and she lets the undertow creep in slow. Sasuke, she thought, please don't leave me. Sakura glanced across the street as she continued her thought. She had been working so hard to hide her mind while eating with Naruto, though he was so dense he probably wouldn't have picked up on her mood regardless of her hiding. How long until he snaps? She questioned. Because everyone owns a gun deep inside, it's just a matter of how much you let it slide. Just when was he going to pull the trigger?

Sakura stopped midstride to analyze her situation. He had seemed more distant lately, could it be that I'm already too late? She asked herself with a sudden pain in her chest. What if he is going to act tonight? What if the ball has already been dropped? She turned and took off running.

Drop the ball, watch it fall far below. She dashed. Suck you in, hold your breath, the undertow creeps in slow. Her mind was racing. Everyone owns a gun deep inside; it's just a matter of how much you let it slide. He could be already gone.

The town raced past her, though the scenes were elongated due to her fears. This wasn't happening, he couldn't just leave right? She tried denial.

While running she threw a kunai towards the feet of another passerby to prevent them from blocking her. There was no way she would let them hinder her mission. There was no _fucking_ way she would let them do that. She tried anger.

She ran.

She dashed around a turn to find herself at the town entrance. Her gaze lingered on the path before her as her heart did flips and turns. The ramen was threatening to make a reappearance but the girl barely noticed. Her fingers were fists; her eyes were brimmed with tears.

"He's gone." She muttered to the night air. Her shoulders felt weighted and her nose began to run. The street lights turned hazy, as the night progressed. She tried depression.

The girl nearly gave in to falling to the ground before she heard the footsteps. She turned on her heal and dashed towards them without thought. After a few steps Sakura slowed down and leaned beside a tree, waiting.

What was she going to do to make him stay? What could she say? She wasn't pretty, or particularly special in any way, but she loved him. She could make this work. Footsteps echoed from the path as she strained her ears to listen.

After a few moments, elderly grunts and coughs resonated all around and the girl peeked from around the tree. It was only a man from the village, one of the nighttime drinkers she assumed. A single tear slid down her face before she collapsed to the cold ground. No, she just knew it was going to be him. There was no way it couldn't have been him. Her nose started to run as she franticly rubbed her face dry. Why the hell?

She hit her head against the trunk with frustration over the turn of events. She tried anger, again. She pounded herself again and again, with no change. There was nothing she could do anyway, she thought.

"Eay, Miss?" It was the old man. She refused to look up. "Do you need sum' help Miss?" She shook her head and tried to smile at the man; there was no reason for her to take her anger out on him.

"No, Mister, I'm fine, thank you." She whispered while clutching her arms around her. She just had to stop the waterworks.

"Please Miss, help me help you." He leaned down for her hand and she smiled through her tears. She didn't deserve his kindness.

"No thank you, I was just waiting…" she trailed off, for fear of her words catching in her throat. There was a long pause before the man spoke again.

"I recon they won't be there. No fella's out this late; well, none worth waitin' 'round for." His words seemed soothing, but she knew Sasuke was worth waiting for. "Please help me help you miss. Dontcha worry," he chuckled to himself, "no one's watching, they won't see." That absolutely wasn't what she was initially worried about, but it surly wouldn't be in her best interest to be escorted home by a drunk.

After a few more minutes of this arguing, the man finally left her, and she sunk back down into the grass. She tore the individual blades of grass in an attempt to distract herself. She slowly rubbed her head, regretting how many times she hit it a few moments ago. She stifled her tears, and traced all the silhouettes against the night sky. In all entirely, she was just not thinking of him. Other people walked past her, but she didn't raise her head. The night grew colder, but she refused to move. Everything was going wrong, and she refused to think about it.

"It's the middle of the night, what are you hanging around here for?" She gasped. He actually came? She raised her head in disbelief as she saw the boy with a sack on his back. She had been right. Sakura dusted herself off as she stood, and tried to swallow all the words that were much too eager to come spewing from her mouth.

"This is the only road out of the village." She mumbled and looked at her feet. Her hands were laced behind her back as she waited for his answer. Would he understand that she understood? The crisp wind tousled her newly cut hair, and she resisted the urge to right it.

"You should go to bed." He stated with his typical air to disregard everything previously said. He continued past her, as if it were the perfectly normal thing to do. He didn't care what would come of her, all she was, was in his way. The realization made her shudder.

"Why Sasuke?" She barely muttered. "Why won't you ever tell me anything? Why is it always silence with you?" How could he stay here? "You've never shared a single thing with me-"

"Why should I have to tell you anything?" His bitter words cut even deeper than before. This was all that would become of them. She hiccupped while holding back her tears. His voice came again, softer, but just as biter. "Just keep your nose out of my business; it's none of your concern." He turned back towards her as if in an attempt to say something else, but he lost the words. They both waited.

"Sasuke, it hurts. It hurts so much when you need me, and I can't break your fall." Tears were now steadily streaming down her face, the night air made sure to tell her exactly where they were. "It hurts, when you can't see, or maybe you just don't care. I know you hate me, and it hurts. Even in the beginning you couldn't ever stand me; I know you hate me, Remember when we made genin and we were assigned to our three man squads?" she smiled at this, "We were alone together for the first time, right here on this very spot. You got so mad at me that day…" She turned to face him, hoping that he would be moved by this memory.

"I don't remember that." His words were blunt, but she knew they would be.

"Yeah, sure." She tried to cover up her silly words. "I mean it was so long ago, right? But still, that's the day when it all began." She started to get lost in her memories. It's the start of you and me. And Naruto, and Kakashi sensei. The four of us started going on missions, it was rough back then, every day was such a challenge, but more than anything, it was so much fun." He hadn't interrupted yet, so she continued. "I know about your clan Sasuke, I do. Seeking revenge, that won't bring anyone happiness. Nobody at all. Not you, and not me." She kicked at the ground, afraid of what he would say to her knowing.

His hand was placed on his neck, where the demon had bitten him. "I've dropped the switch, and now I need to scratch the itch, and watch it glow." She suddenly remembered when he had gone berserk in the forest. How his skin had glowed, was that what he was talking about? "I've been living inch by inch, on this cutting board, just waiting to grow."

"Yes Sasuke! I've been watching you swing to and fro. I know it's hard, and everyone carries something deep inside, but it's just a matter of how much you let it slide Sasuke. You don't have to leave here."

"It's not that easy." He sighed as if annoyed. "There's this overwhelming feeling that covers me, it's enveloped me for as long as I can remember." He seemed to be struggling with his words.

"Then just wash it off Sasuke." She smiled as innocently as she could. "Just take the loss and let it go. I know you'll be happier if you forget about it." She stepped closer and rested her hand on his arm. "This might be hard for you, but if you just take it all in, or drink it up it would work. I'll even help you." She pleaded, "If you want, we can just take it slow." Her voice cracked as she realized what she had just said. She waited for his response for it, but it never came.

"You said that everyone carries one deep inside, but it's just a matter of how much you let it slide. That's what you said right?" He had disregarded everything she had just said. She nodded. "Well," he pulled away from her, "It's already slid." He turned to step away but caught himself again. "I knew it! I just knew it." He was talking louder than normally. "Look, I'm not the same as you. I'm traveling a path the rest of you can't follow." She knew he was wrong. "I know that the four of us have worked together, and for a while I thought that I could take that road instead. But in the end, I've decided on revenge. That's always been my reason for living; I'll never be like you and Naruto." He shook his head angrily.

The words of the drunk rung in her head. "Please Sasuke, help me help you, because those people, they won't be there like we will be, like we have been." She was losing him. "Please help me help you, because they won't see…" The pink haired girl reached out to him, "And it hurts when you need me, and I can't break your fall, and it hurts when you can't see, and well, Sasuke, it hurts." He raised his hand to comfort her, but fell short. He wasn't supposed to be letting her drag him back. "And it hurts when you're lonely, and I'm standing right beside you there, and it hurts Sasuke, please. It hurt so much when you told me that you'd try this, on your own. Don't do this Sasuke, you don't have to be alone! You told me that day how painful thing solitude can be. I understand that pain now, I have a family, and friends, but, if you were gone Sasuke, it would be the same thing for me; as being all alone…" she was choking up now. It was so hard not to fall into him, she wanted him so much, it wasn't fair; why was he leaving her?

"Sakura?" his voice was soft and sweet. He whispered into her hair, "I hope you never hurt, and I hope you never cry. I hope you didn't lose your way tonight, by coming here to save me." He shook his head, trying to justify to himself what he was saying. "I hope you never crumble, and I hope you never fall-" she softly cut in.

"I hope you never throw away it all Sasuke." She's not getting this, he thought. He was trying to break it off softly, but she just wasn't getting it. He resisted the urge to pull her in, and yet couldn't find it in himself to push her away. In truth, this amazingly cheerful girl meant a lot to him. Somehow, the silly things she did became endearing, the way she spoke sometimes really struck home, and her constant pestering had somehow become a thing to look forward to. But this dark boy could not truly accept this. If he did, that would mean forgetting his brother; forgetting his goal in life.

He vaguely remembered the time she had saved him. When fighting on the bridge, he had sacrificed himself to save Naruto, and in a way, Sakura had called him back. The first thing he could remember was her silver tears falling towards him, and her frail sobs that seemed to echo from all around. As he finished the memory, he tried to recall another instance that had felt similar. Except this time, all he could remember was her voice and her arms wrapped around him. In a short time, the Uchiha absentmindedly recreated the feeling from the elusive recollection by wrapping his arms around the shivering girl.

He barely noticed his actions when he next spoke, "This is a new beginning. Each of us has a new path lying before us." He whispered, as though he were afraid to scare her away. She cringed.

"Sasuke," she cried while pulling away to look him in the eyes, "I'm so in love with you I can't even stand it." Her tears were falling again. "If you would only be with me I promise I'll never let you regret it. Every day would be a joy, I can give you happiness. I'll do anything for you Sasuke, so please, I'm begging you don't walk away." She pleaded. "I'll even help get your revenge; I'll do whatever it takes to make it happen I swear. So stay here, with me. And if you can't, then take me with you Sasuke." She bargained. Her fingers gripped his shirt. "Please Sasuke, please."

He watched as her tears welled up as she begged. He was slowly filled with disgust. Not for her, but for the situation that they were in; he really didn't want to go. "You haven't changed." His bitterness sent a bolt of sharp pain through his chest. He couldn't hurt her like this. "You're still annoying." Drop the ball, watch it fall far below, this would be the final straw. Suck you in, and hold your breath; watch it swing. He was sorry he had just hurt her, he really was, but it was for the best. Or so he told himself.

Sasuke stepped away from her, and all she could think of was how she lost him. Her voice was so small, he had to stop walking to listen. He had to hold his breath, to make sure he didn't miss a word. "Why don't you understand Sasuke? It hurts when you need me, and yet you won't let me help. It hurts that you don't see how much Sasuke. Why can't you-?" She paused to catch her breath, but he started walking in the space that was left. No! She lashed out at him, "Don't leave me! If you go, I'll scream and-" He was behind her in an instant, and by the time he took in his breath she was out cold. She didn't accept.

Why did she have to do this? And why tonight? He sighed and laid her on a bench. The wood seemed cold to his touch, so he fished out a shirt from his pack to cloak her.

"Sakura, thank you for everything." He wished she could hear him, but knew not to stick around to tell her; he was already doubting his resolve thanks to her.

"Thank you."

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_**Okay, so since I wrote a big long header, I may as well put a footer too right? Well anyways, I hope you liked it, and even if you hated it, please review! PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE! I will love you forever, and please, it makes me feel so much better when someone reviews, rather than favoriten' or whathaveyou. Well, anyways, I love you all for reading, and thanks again!**_

_**NOW REVIEW! XD PLEASE  
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